I have many endearing qualities, but the fact that I watch The Bachelor is not one of them. Marty and I watch it together, scoffing at its ridiculousness and over-the-top cheesiness the whole way through. If somebody were to spy on our Bachelor-watching sessions, more often than not they would hear exasperated “Oh, please!“s and “Yeah right, give me a break!“s. But we don’t stop watching it. We tune in devotedly every Monday night and take a 2-hour break from reality. (After all, that’s what Reality TV is for… right?)
What? You don't wear a bikini and tube socks when *you* go skiing?
We are still fairly new to the whole Bachelor scene (I promise), but already it’s apparent that the producers of the show recycle Amazing Date ideas from season to season. Inevitably, the contestant with a deathly fear of heights is selected to go rappelling off a skyscraper or climbing up the city’s tallest bridge, high above roaring rush-hour traffic; somebody usually gets a private concert from a lame, desperate-for-publicity band; helicopter rides are a regular occurrence (especially for the contestants who are afraid of flying); and one lucky girl or guy always gets a personal fireworks show on their date, while the rest of the contestants view the spectacle morosely from the comforts of their shared, 5-star hotel suite. Promotional considerations supplied by Fairmont Hotels and the all-new 2012 Honda CRV...
Well. I don’t have any private concerts to report, and it’s been a while since Marty arranged us our own, personal fireworks show. However, we did have some outdoor adventures recently, when our lakeside community was walloped with an Epic Amount of Snow. Occasionally I wish we had a video camera so that I could post ludicrous vlogs, like an professionally-edited Bachelor spoof. Alas. We only have a point and shoot camera and some rudimentary knowledge of Photoshop, so you’ll have to endure a storyboard-style recollection of our recent Bachelor-worthy dates. 
(If you don’t think you can tolerate stilted Bachelor dialogue for the rest of this post, allow me to summarize the plot: It snowed. Marty and I played outside. Yer welcome. Now just enjoy the pictures. Everyone else, get ready for The Bachelor Season 17: Creating Beautiful Magic with Marty M.!)
******************************************************************************
Dana: I get to go on a one-on-one date today with Marty, and I’m so excited! The date card said “Let’s get our relationship on the right track”, and I honestly have no idea what that means… Are there any race tracks in the area? God, I hope not! Maybe we’ll be running on the high school track…? I should probably dress sporty.
Marty: I decided to ask Dana on the one-on-one date today, and I’m hoping that I can see a different side of her personality. She seems to be a very serious woman, which is great, but I’m also looking for somebody who can just have fun and who has the ability to laugh at herself. Hopefully, this lighter side of Dana can shine through when it’s just the two of us together. I’m looking forward to it!
Literally right outside the kitchen
Dana: So, Marty comes to pick me up for our date, and he just straps on snowshoes right outside the door! I couldn’t believe it– apparently we’re going snowshoeing! I couldn’t be more excited about this date. Marty brings out aspects of me that I haven’t been in touch with for a very long time, and I’m hopeful that this one-on-one date could be the start of something really special…
The docks were completely frozen over
The Kinsol Trestle, covered in snow
Marty: Today, I’m taking Dana snowshoeing along the old railroad tracks at the lake, and we’ll also take a detour along the historic Kinsol Trestle. The weather couldn’t be more perfect today: we got a ton of snowfall overnight, and the conditions are great for some epic snowshoeing. I can’t wait to see this girl in action!
Action shot! (I know, I make it look easy...)
Dana: Snowshoeing with Marty is so amazing! We have such a great connection together, and being outdoors alongside this beautiful lake– with fresh snow everywhere and no one else around– feels very magical. It’s like we have this Winter Wonderland all to ourselves. What better place to fall in love?
Is that love on the horizon? The vanishing point of my heart?
Marty: I have to say, I’m really impressed with Dana’s ability to snowshoe. She told me that she’s more of a gym rat than an outdoorsy-type woman, but she’s really giving it on those snowshoes! This is a side of her that I haven’t seen before and, I don’t know– it just feels right. We’re laughing and having a good time together– our conversations feel natural and spontaneous. I could easily see myself developing feelings for Dana.
A match made on reality TV...
Dana: Marty is such a wonderful person! Seeing him in his element– outside, being athletic, really opening up and letting his guard down– is so special to me. I could really see myself being with him. We could definitely be on the right track to love! [giddy, lovestruck smile]
Disaster strikes? We'll be back after a short commercial break...
Epic meltdown??
Marty: Everything was going smoothly on this date. I could tell that Dana was feeling more relaxed, and that was great. But then… we came upon a bridge, and Dana confessed that she felt afraid to cross it. There was a freezing river running beneath the bridge, and I could tell that Dana was nervous about falling in. I wanted to let her know that she was safe and that we could face this fear together, but the words escaped me in the moment. So I did the only thing that I could do: I kissed her.
Kinsol Trestle is for lovers!
Dana: [delirious] Kissing Marty… on that bridge… was like a dream. I had been so afraid of falling into the water, but when Marty kissed me, I felt like he was giving me courage. I felt safe! We crossed that bridge together, hand in hand, and if we can get through that, I really think that our relationship can handle anything.
Marty: Facing your fears is a big part of falling in love. You really do have to let your guard down and just trust that everything will be okay in the end. Conquering a fear today brought Dana and I closer together. We really bonded on that bridge, and… I don’t know… I just have the biggest smile on my face right now! I can really see myself being in a relationship with Dana. She’s smart, she’s willing to try new things, and she also looks cute in hand-knit elf hats!
We ended up hiking and snowshoeing about 25km (15.5 miles) over three days during the Epic Snowfall. Then the rain came again and turned everything into gigantic (and gross!) puddles of slush. Not to worry, though– I got a rose and survived another Rose Ceremony. Maybe next week I’ll get to swim with stingrays, descend into a cave, or wander around a private amusement park on my quest to find magical love with Marty M.
