Bliss and the Non-Mama

Unnecessarily Long-Winded Preamble:

Around the same time that I up and left Calgary, Alberta– the land of my birth and geeky upbringing– Kathy, a friend from my knitting group, also up and left the city with her partner and young daughter in tow. Marty and I made a beeline for Victoria, craving salty air and smaller pastures, whereas Kathy et al. set up the most gorgeous and inviting nest in the heart of British Columbia. (Seriously. Can you handle the idyllic-ness of it all?)

Kathy's strawbale house, Kathy's bike (Little Prozac), and Kathy herself! Image from www.whiletangerinedreams.typepad.com

Five or so years have passed since our Big Moves Out West, and even though we don’t see each other every week like we used to for Knit Night (obviously), Kathy and I still check in frequently via the magical web of the internet. I have evolved from Basket-Case Grad Student to Mostly-Sane Creative Partner in the art business that Marty and I share. She has added an adorable son to her family and has blossomed into a savvy writer and creative coach– a person who literally radiates happiness and bliss at every turn. (One look at her blog will either leave you grinning like a fool or glaring at her photos with menacing daggers of envy, or both. I myself oscillate between the two reactions on a regular basis, though mostly I just want to be a shimmering goddess of total bliss like her. Nothing creepy, I promise.)

Isn't she gorgeous? Image from www.whiletangerinedreams.typepad.com

Kathy has just delivered a delightful e-book, The Bliss-Filled Mama– Self Care for Soulful Mothering, and I am tickled to be featured as one of the stops on her virtual book tour this week! Kathy has graciously offered one of my readers a free copy of her e-book, which also includes an mp3 file of her reading the book to you, just in case you’re too busy to peruse the pdf. (That is so Kathy, it’s not even funny.) If you’re interested in the book (or even if you’re not really and just want to say hello to me or congrats to Kathy), please leave a comment below. I’ll draw for the winner this Sunday, February 19th at 5 pm PST. Thanks!

Actual Book Review (Better Late Than Never)

You might be wondering: why on earth would a childless woman buy a book called The Bliss-Filled Mama? I hear you. Partly, I purchased the book to support a friend in her newest creative endeavour. (Full disclaimer: I probably would have bought a book called “Dead Animals, Toxic Cleaning Products, and Ridiculously Oversized Vehicles” if the name “Kathy Stowell” appeared in the author credits. That’s what friends are for, right?) Partly, it was to see if any of the mama-centric information could be applied to long-distance aunties such as myself. Mostly, though, I bought the book because I’m familiar with Kathy’s buoyant and uplifting philosophies on life and hoped that her book would contain her signature nuggets of wisdom for anyone– parent or not, woman or not– to enjoy.

I was not disappointed. At all. To the contrary, I finished reading her breezy e-book feeling rejuvenated and inspired to preserve some sacred me time, always and forever, even when our summer work schedule makes it difficult to blink and relatively easy to justify wearing the same pair of underwear more than one day in a row. (Aside: I swear I have never done this. I’ve rationalized and debated doing it, yes, but I’ve never actually wore the same pair more than once in a row. Cross my heart.)

"We" time at the Harbour (clean underwear and all!)

Kathy’s e-book outlines simple and effective ways to take care of yourself and your own creative spirit so that you can be fully present in your responsibilities as a parent (or as a non-parent, in my case.) Her suggestions are not particularly earth-shattering when taken individually or solely at face value, but together, they are insightful and they can be life-changing when pursued and practiced in earnest. I am sure of this.

Starfish jump!

Many of you might recall (because I bring it up all the time) that I have struggled for the past three summers with significant weight gain, a lack of sleep, and a decided feeling of imbalance– physically, mentally, spiritually, and socially. (New readers: my husband and I work extremely long and intense hours at our outdoor art booth in downtown Victoria every spring and summer. It wreaks havoc on my body every year.) The highly seasonal nature of our work makes for 6-8 months of being totally on (like 12-16 hours per day, 7 days per week of on-ness) and 4-6 months of emerging from a crumpled heap of chaos. I love what I do and feel highly privileged to be able to pursue this line of work, but I also deal with the persistent, nagging thought that the way we do our work is not sustainable. I, for one, can’t live off of take-out food and too few hours of sleep indefinitely (or even 6 months out of every year, truth be told). It’s not healthy to work out all winter, only to sit on my ass all summer. My body can’t rebound from weight gain over and over again, and even if it can (bless you, adaptable body!)– who wants to gain and lose 10-20lbs every six months? Not me.

After reading Kathy’s e-book, I’m much more cognizant of the value of carving out regular, creative me time intervals, even if it means toning down my blood-thirsty urge to make as much money as possible by working as many hours as possible!! in the summer months. (Go figure: I eat an almost vegan diet but suffer from a completely carnivorous work ethic. So embarrassing.) Thanks to Kathy’s book, I also have an arsenal of simple tricks up my sleeve to help me realize the goal of nurturing myself so I can, in turn, nurture our bodies and our growing art business effectively.

The fact is, I love to cook and be in the kitchen. Heaven, for me, definitely involves a cutting board and a stock pot! Unfortunately, I haven’t been doing any cooking during Harbour season for the past three summers, so guess what? My creative spirit and our bodies have suffered accordingly. It’s not rocket science, but if I could just honour this particular creative passion of mine throughout the year (and not just in the winter months), both Marty and I would benefit tremendously. (And our pants would thank us!) Whole foods! Creative time! Win, win, win! This is just one small example of something that touched me personally in The Bliss Filled Mama e-book, and I’m certain that anyone who leans even slightly to the granola side of the fence– parent or not, XX or XY– can benefit from Kathy’s wit, style, and soulful strategies.

Do you want to read more of Kathy’s tips (or have Kathy’s sexy phone-voice read more to you via mp3)?

Do you want to say hi to Kathy and compliment her on her wicked style or cramp-inducing abode?

Do you want to reassure me that my summer pants aren’t that big, even if they fit 20 more pounds of weight in them than my winter pants do?

Tell me what brings you bliss!

Remember, one lucky commenter will snag a free copy of the e-book and the accompanying mp3 file! (Everyone else will have to cough up 14 big bucks, but it’s worth it, I promise.)

Thank you and good luck!

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Edited Sunday, February 19th to say: Thanks to everyone who commented and entered to win a free copy of Kathy’s e-book. Our random number generator has declared Blogless Mary the winner! I’ll be in touch via e-mail and Kathy will send you your prize shortly!