Ah, just what this blog needs: another whole post dedicated to ME! Essentially, this entire blog (as well as my previous blog, The Ex-Ex-Nomad), is All About Me. However, some people prefer information about me to be arranged in a list, all concise and “Coles Notes”-like. I get this. I am a Cancer, and I love lists. So, without further adieu,
About Me:
1. I was born and raised in the Canadian Capital of Urban Sprawl: Calgary, Alberta. Despite my near constant complaining about the city, Calgary does have a few things going for it (OK, many things, but I will only list a few here): it is very close to Kananaskis and the Rocky Mountains, it boasts numerous yarn stores and excellent diners, the summers are usually hot and dry, and of course, all of my closest childhood friends and family still live there. Plus, if you have a thing for bankers and oil executives dressing up like cowboys (you know who you are), Calgary is the place to be come early July.
2. Growing up, I wanted to be: a Grade 4 teacher, an author, a teacher, a writer, an advertising executive, a writer, a counsellor, a writer, and a writer. Today, I work in the Accounting Department at a local non-profit organization. I use an adding machine and do math! Notice how my love of math has permeated an entire lifetime worth of hopes, dreams, and ambitions. Truly, I have arrived.
3. (I actually love my job, even though Barbie was a tiny bit right when she lamented that “Math is hard!”).
4. I have two younger sisters, both of whom boast more beauty, charm, and talent than I could ever hope to possess. Luckily, I am the oldest child. This makes me the best by default and also, the boss of them. (Ed. note: My tongue cannot move any farther into my cheek right now. Anyone who knows my family in real life knows that my youngest sister is clearly The Boss. This might also make her The Best. But who’s to say? Anyone? Bueller?)
5. I have wonderful parents. Sadly, I can’t blame any of my more wretched traits on my upbringing. I essentially grew up in a fairy tale, except that this so-called ‘fairy tale’ was set in Calgary, Alberta.
6. To the chagrin of my poor parents, I was born a dreadfully picky eater. I would eat pretty much anything, so long as it was white rice, soya sauce, peanut butter, bread, plain pasta, or cheese. Amazingly, I was as thin as a rail for the most part on my All Carb Diet. But then again, I was six. My picky eating disease wasn’t fully cured until I met Marty and fell in love. (In other words, I met Marty and discovered a whole new world of delicious foods that I was only eating at first to impress him. Ha!)
7. I never ate meat growing up unless I had to. See: Number 6 above. It was a texture thing. The only meat I could stand (if you could call it ‘meat’, and I don’t think you can) was hot dogs. Hot dogs and ham. Mmm… pork and pork by-products! I ‘officially’ became vegetarian when I was 12 years old. Today, I don’t do meat, fish, or most dairy (except for butter and the occasional misguided Blizzard. Ahem.) And yes, I get enough protein.
8. I attended Catholic School from K-12. There (like any good rebellious pre-teen), I developed intense interests in studying Human Sexuality and advocating for gay rights. As one might expect, these passions of mine would have to wait until university. (I did not particularly feel like being smoted by God in front of my junior high friends. How embarrassing would that have been!)
9. I received both an undergraduate and a graduate degree in Communication Studies from the University of Calgary. I specialized in the (ever popular, highly funded, intensely prestigious) study of women’s reproductive health and sexuality. Ha. I bumped into one of my high school teachers when I had almost finished my master’s degree. She asked what the topic of my thesis was. I replied that I was conducting a qualitative study on women’s experiences with birth control methods. She told me that I had chosen a very Catholic topic and that my ‘parents must be proud’. I still don’t know how to interpret that.
10. I thrived in my undergraduate degree and fully resisted my Master’s degree. I might do a Ph.D. one day, but it will require a serious attitude overhaul. Not to mention a winning lottery ticket. And maybe a flying pig or two, for good measure.
11. I am a hopeless romantic and a firm believer in the workings of the universe. I love to read new-agey books.
12. I am also incredibly emotional. I attribute this to being a Cancer. I am one of those people who will cry during long distance phone commercials, made-for-TV movies, Road to Avonlea, weddings, funerals, happy moments, sad moments, moving moments, hay fever season, etc. I am also one of those people who will start to cry if I see you crying, regardless of why you have been moved to tears in the first place. Be forewarned: it’s a reflex.
13. I am married to the most wonderful man, Marty, and we are childless by choice.
14. I have always been fascinated by Czech culture. I used to dream of living in Prague long before I met Marty and discovered he was Czech! I wrote entire university essays on Czech culture and politics, and I even tried to get an ex-boyfriend of mine to go travelling with me to the Czech Republic. He wasn’t interested, but he told me about one of his cycling friends who alternated between living and training in Czech and then coming back to Canada. Coincidentally enough, that friend of his was Marty. Coincidence… or the Bermuda Triangle?
15. I only speak one language. I am embarrassed about this.
16. I love to: travel, knit, read, write, cook, hike, and daydream.
17. I don’t like: spiders, drinking alcohol, most conventional cleaning agents, being cold, running, parsnips.
18. My guilty pleasures include: Cheesy 80s dance movies, Justin Timberlake (just his music), fruit smoothies (my doctor says I should avoid cold foods), overuse of commas, run-on sentences, dried fruit, and coffee-flavoured chocolate.
19. I am a little bit obsessed with: Mason jars, post-it notes, counting/rolling spare change, Depeche Mode, bindis, making lists.
20. While many people loathe writing and/or reading these kinds of random lists about people, I absolutely LOVE it! My mind is a virtual sea of random and useless information about myself and my friends.
21. Related to above: I am obviously a giant nerd.
22. My feet are almost always freezing cold. I have to wear elaborate Bosnian wool slippers around the house, even in the dead of summer. I draw the line at sleeping in socks, though– that’s just wrong.
23. I am not very easily drawn into expressing anger (for better or for worse), though one thing that REALLY bothers me is when cars don’t stop properly for pedestrians, especially when that pedestrian is me. Rolling stops and/or impatient creeping up into the crosswalks while I am trying to cross the street makes me want to do one of two things: a) Lie down in the middle of the road to force an honest-to-god STOP for a solitary SECOND OR SO, DEAR GOD THE WORLD IS ENDING!! or b) Scream like a banshee whilst kicking and pounding the offensive car.
24. As soon as I start thinking vile thoughts about assaulting and cursing out cars that don’t stop for pedestrians, I immediately feel guilty and convince myself that the drivers of said cars must be rushing to the hospital or something equally urgent. I am such a pushover.
25. I love books, movies, and stories about synchronicity, happenstance, ‘coincidences’, etc. Even the mention of serendipity gives me goose bumps.
26. I wish I could dance like my middle sister and sing like my youngest sister. Then my life would be complete.
27. I am way behind the times when it comes to technology. I still make mix tapes and play them in my big-ass yellow Sony walkman.
28. Unlike many of my female friends who feel totally naked if they leave the house without some sort of makeup on, I feel ultra-awkward and self-conscious if I wear something on my face besides my peppermint lip balm. I wore mascara for the first time in 8-or-so years the other weekend, and I felt like a had a giant neon sign plastered to my eyelids.
29. Even though I envy women who have great hair and perfect hairstyles, I have no patience for blow dryers, curling irons, straightening irons, hair products, or even brushes. Needless to say, my morning beauty routine is pretty basic. Edited to add: I bought a blow dryer recently! And I actually use it! Point: Patriarchy! 
30. I am surprisingly adept with numbers and with tracking down information. My colleagues are convinced that my past lives included any or all of the following: auditor, private investigator, terrier/blood hound.
31. I am laughably bad with directions and anything to do with spatial relations. My friends and family are pretty sure that my past lives did NOT include any of the following: fashion designer, box assembler, taxi driver, wilderness guide, wilderness box assembler.
32. I took one of those career inventory tests in Grade 9 and was permanently scarred when it told me I should be a pharmacist or a truck driver. (Truck driver?! Come on!)
33. I make a mean homemade soup.
34. For some reason, I find it incredibly difficult to bike commute unless I am dressed in “bike gear”. I wish I could be more hipster en route, but I think my (still very limited) bike powers and skills must be tied up in spandex somehow. (It’s like Samson and his hair, only with me and spandex instead.)
35. Frequent coffee drinking notwithstanding, I still prefer to think of myself as an ‘herbal tea’ person.
36. Most of my recurrent nightmares involve crocodiles or hippos. I am petrified of both of these animals. It goes without saying that “African Safari” is nowhere near the top of my Dream Vacation list.
37. If I had the means, I would go for acupuncture at least 3 times a week for the rest of my life. As it stands, I go about once every three weeks and love every second of it.
38. I dream of living in the Czech Republic one day. Even though Czech drivers NEVER stop for pedestrians (not even old ladies!!).
39. I have never been accused of having any sort of street smarts whatsoever.
40. It will take me all of forever to get this list up to 100 Things About Me. Ergo, only 40 items for now.
Q: What the Hell is a Zona Pellucida?
A: The zona pellucida is a membrane that surrounds a woman’s egg. It is called the ‘area of light’ because of the way it shows up in microscopic pictures, i.e. bright. A sperm must pass through the zona pellucida in order to fertilize the egg at conception. New research suggests that the zona pellucida might actually be more active in this process than was previously assumed. In other words, the zona pellucida might actually reject and/or select certain sperm to fertilize the egg. It chooses. And I am all about choice.
Q: OK, So Why is This Blog Called “Zona Pellucida”?
A: Because I am a geek.
