Getting back into a routine can be tough work, especially when that routine doesn’t make your heart sing anything but wailing, syrupy songs about the life that could have been… Perhaps I should take up a new career writing sappy country song lyrics? “Truth be told/ I’m growing old/ That house had mould…” La la la la la
Um, hello! How have you guys been the past few days? 🙂
Me: I am struggling a bit to get back to the place (and pace) I used to be at. My heart, mind, and soul have all just drifted some place else. I keep having these silly conversations with the universe, asking for some sort of sign. Should I stay or should I go? And then all of these signs come flowing into my daily experiences, but then I don’t know if I’m misreading them or reading things that aren’t really there. You know? So I demand clearer signs. “Dear Universe: Please send me a sign that is impossible to ignore or misinterpret, but please make it a pleasant sign so nobody gets sick or dies. I am tired of all of these taxing changes. Thx! Love, Dana L.”
When the hell did I become this sort of person?
In any case, I am managing at work and trying to rebuild the trust in my competence that was clearly shattered when I took time off. It will be a process, that’s for sure, and in the meantime, I’m scrambling to find reasons why I don’t need to go through this process. I will become an entrepreneur, yes! I will make it as a best-selling author and show everyone. I will win the lotto and won’t need to deal with any of this crap anymore. Just you wait: I’m going to make it after all! (sing in Mary Tyler Moore show voice)
If anything, we can all take solace in the fact that I am obviously still a drama queen with a penchant for PAIN and SUFFERING. That means things are normal, right? Same old, same old…