The Next Iron Chef

Like any almost-vegan worth her sea salt, I totally love eating eggs. Heh. It’s a personal choice of mine not to eat meat or fish, and a dairy allergy sadly prevents me from eating ALL THE BUTTER IN THE WORLD– plus all of those other I-could-care-less-about foods that count as dairy– but heaven help you if you come between me and my eggs. Hell hath no fury.

I am particular about the eggs I eat, though, and I refuse to eat an egg that isn’t fully cooked. No runny yolks or even soft-boiled eggs for me. (Or egg nog. Man, even the thought of egg nog or egg liqueurs makes me queasy.)  I also have a thing about non-hen eggs, too. I know it’s basically the same idea: eggs=eggs, but quail, pheasant, or duck eggs give me the creeps. In sum: My name is Dana L., and I love eggs, but only thoroughly cooked hen eggs, and preferably eggs from local, free-range, and organic hens. It also helps if they’re brown eggs, because (as Marty says), the difference between white and brown eggs is that the brown ones are ‘whole wheat’ and probably more nutritious as a result. 😉

Anyway. I have been in the kitchen a lot lately, whipping up simple feasts that make me dizzy with joy! I made Spaghetti Squash ‘Pasta’ Bowls the other night with a zesty, wine-infused tomato sauce (and grilled vegetables- YUM!), and I’ve also been getting friendly with my beloved kale again. Yep. I’m definitely in one of my love-filled Body Positive stretches, and everything that’s been going into my body recently has been met with gratitude, anticipation, and even hearty high fives. “Yeah, asparagus- you rock!”

But back to the eggs. Did you know that I make a wicked omelet? I sure do! (Though I’m not sure it even qualifies as a technical ‘omelet’. It might be more like a frittata or a flan, or some other f-word related to eggs. F*cking Delicious is probably the official title.) Making an ‘omelet’ is quick and easy, and it provides hearty nourishment for hungry bodies. Almost-vegans everywhere should be proud.

If you are new to omelets and would like to try my variation, here’s my classic recipe, loaded with fresh veggies and herbs. You can thank me later. 🙂

F*cking Delicious Eggs

You Will Need:

– 5-6 large whole eggs, cracked into a bowl together (Do not listen to the anti-yolk propaganda– I use whole eggs ALWAYS)

– 1 level tbsp coconut oil or other cooking oil (like, ahem, butter)

– 1/2 medium onion, diced

– 1/4 cup frozen chopped spinach, thawed and drained of excess water

– 1 clove garlic, crushed

– 1 small red pepper, diced (or 1/2 large red pepper)

– 5-6 asparagus spears, washed and chopped into 1″ pieces

– 1/3 zucchini, quartered and cut into thin slices

– 1 tsp dried basil or oregano

– 4 small sprigs fresh dill

– salt and pepper to taste

 

How To Make It:

1. Wash and chop all ingredients beforehand, leaving aside until needed. Whisk eggs in bowl together, adding 1 tsp dried basil or oregano and cracked pepper to taste.

Brown: check, Organic: check, Free Range: check, Hen: check, Local? Sorta kinda. Not my usual farmers' market eggs, though.

Raw produce porn. I can seriously feel my pupils dilating when I look at fresh vegetables...

2. In a large skillet, melt coconut oil over low heat and add diced onion. Cover and saute for approximately 5 minutes, stirring occasionally.

3. When onions begin to turn translucent, add spinach and crushed garlic to frying pan. Cover and cook for 2-3 minutes. Stir if needed.

4. Add red peppers to skillet and cover for 2-3 minutes, stirring occasionally.

5. Add asparagus pieces and zucchini to the pan and cover again for 2 minutes. Add a small amount of water to the pan if ingredients seem to be sticking.

6. Turn heat up to medium, and pour egg mixture into the pan, making sure the vegetables are evenly coated. Do not stir or otherwise disturb the pan once the eggs have been poured in.

I just pour and then tilt the skillet as needed to help the eggs reach all the edges

7. Add dill sprigs on top of the eggs, a la Martha Stewart, and cover pan. Cook on medium heat for a few minutes, lifting the lid occasionally to check on the cooking progress.

Don't sprigs of dill make you feel like a Red Seal chef? So delicate! So professional!

8. The eggs will start cooking on the bottom and will puff up on the top towards the lid. After around 5 minutes have elapsed since adding the eggs, turn the heat to low and replace the lid on the frying pan. Continue cooking.

9. A finished omelet will have turned lighter in colour and will not run whites/yolks at all. You can also check to see if the omelet is finished by gently lifting an edge away from the pan and assessing the colour of the bottom of the eggs.

Done like dinner. Or breakfast- whatever!

10. Cut into 4 or 6 pieces (or just 2 if you’re really hungry) and serve immediately with avocado slices, salsa, or black olives. Add salt to taste.

Note: You can also make this recipe with sundried tomato slices, which we were out of, or add mushrooms in place of the zucchini. Dairy lovers can crumble some feta cheese on top (add to the pan about 3 minutes after adding the eggs if you want the cheese to stick in the omelet.) Dress it up to suit your personal tastes, and enjoy! You’re practically a vegan now! 🙂

8 responses

    • This recipe suits non-vegans just fine, too, so long as they can tolerate a solitary meatless meal without dropping over from fatigue and anemia. 😉 (If not, you could always add some sort of meat to the side and stave off impending danger.) Enjoy!

  1. Get outta my brain Dana MaChickChick! Throughout my pregnancy, I ate approximately 3 1/2 MILLIONS EGGS (My math sucks, this might be off by 1 or 3 million). That was all I wanted. All eggs. All the time. Much to no one’s surprise, I now have a toddler who learned to say “scam-bulled igg” before he said Mom 🙂
    P.S. Those “whole wheat” eggs look delicious.

    • Hmm… I hope my love of eggs doesn’t mean I’m with spawn. Because I love pickles, too! OH NO!!! I’m craving all of the stereotypically ‘pregnant’ foods!

  2. I heart whole wheat eggs, omelettes, fresh vegetables and pretty cutting board displays! Can’t wait to try this particular variation! Thank you for sharing.

    • Yeah– that’s the spirit! 🙂 Any/all variations of veggies in omelets are AOK in my books, but there’s something about asparagus that makes me especially giddy.

  3. Ohmigod whole wheat eggs……I’m passing that message on to Brad, he’ll love it.
    That omelette looks awesome! I make a killer fritatta (same thing – throw everything in a pan but we finish it off in the oven after we add the eggs.) Oh and there is chorizo in it.

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