I say, follow your bliss and don’t be afraid, and doors will open where you didn’t know they were going to be.
— Joseph Campbell
The last few weeks have been a wild ride, readers. WILD AND CRAZY EXCITING! As soon as I let it slip that I wanted to pursue schooling in the field of holistic nutrition — not maybe, not perhaps, not ‘when I find the time or money’, but ASAP– doors started flying open for me. Everywhere! Awesome ideas came to me in dreams or during meditation, opportunities to connect with exactly the right people came flying into my inbox, and friends near and far immediately offered me fountains of knowledge, resources, and great advice. Pretty great, right?
Well. Lest you think that I suddenly stumbled into a perfect existence and settled into easy harmony with everything on the planet– Deepak Chopra style– let me set you straight. You see, with so many doors opening all at once, somebody (ahem) might have got a bit excited. And with all those (heavy) doors flapping about madly in the great hallway of life, somebody (cough!) maybe got decked in the face by one or two of them. Opportunity knocked. I answered. And got clocked in the teeth by accident…
It all started when cherished reader Michelle pointed me in the direction of Leanne Vogel, who I’m just going to call “Amazing” from now on. (It’s shorter and more to the point. She’s seriously awesome.) Michelle raved:
“I’ve been reading another blogger for months who’s a holistic nutritionist… She has kickin’ low-allergy recipes (today is a 5-ingredient chocolate pudding made out of NAVY BEANS) and Capital G-orgeous photos of her food. I know you don’t *need* another blog to read, but she might be a good resource along your journey (if you’re not already familiar with her work): http://www.healthfulpursuit.com”
Clearly, I had to head over to Leanne’s site, Healthful Pursuit, and check out her G-orgeousness for myself. And it was G-orgeous indeed. So G-orgeous, in fact, that I strangely went from feeling like I was on top of the world to anxiously questioning whether I was cool enough for the internet and wondering if I’d always be less cool than Leanne. (Not my proudest revelation, for sure, but there you have it. Hello, insecurity!)
Being watched, being judged
Leanne seemed to be so grounded in herself and collected in her relationship with food. She had a great website, a dedicated following, and countless recipes that turned the ‘woe is me, I have food allergies’ mindset right on its head. Take that, candida! You’re not the boss of me! (I nearly cried* when I tried her Runners Repair bars. *From the deliciousness, obviously.) And who was I by comparison?
Bland as a boiled potato.
Too tiny for this world, and way too small for my gigantic pipe dream.
A bright-eyed punk with pedestrian recipes and unfortunate photos. (Thank goodness I deleted my ‘groundbreaking’ recipe for ice, no? Ingredient: Water. Directions: Freeze. Of course, I jest.)
The smallest, most insecure shadow of myself suddenly worried that I would spend all this time and money on nutrition school and still not be as awesome as Leanne. Even worse: what if I spent all that time and money on nutrition school and became even less cool than I was already? Coolness regression— heaven forbid!
In my anxiety, I downed half a jar of peanut butter. In, like, 45 minutes. By the spoonful. Without even paying attention.
When I noticed what I had done (and how sick/swollen my belly felt– ya think?), the guilt kicked in. Big time. I felt terrible for eating approximately 100,000 calories of nut butter in one sitting. What kind of person does that, let alone what kind of nutritionist wannabe? I felt even worse, knowing that Kimberly Snyder (my nutritionist idol) disapproves of peanuts and recommends almond butter instead. (And it was salted peanut butter, too– probably with common table salt and not even high-quality sea salt. Ack!!) Soon, I was spiraling deeper and deeper into critical thoughts and all-around chastising. What have I done? Will I ever learn? Bad, wrong, no-good, awful, blah blah blah…
Enter Marty. Thank god!
Marty had been at a fitness class when the Peanut Butter Incident transpired (you know, taking care of his body and loving himself. The irony of his self care did not escape me.) He had left me, super stoked and brimming with positive energy!, and then had come home to a hot mess feeling totally down on herself. The intellectual part of me knew I was being silly and irrational (and that neither Leanne nor her website had anything to do with it), but at the time, my fear of change, putting myself out there, and creating a new life for myself with no guarantees of success threatened to swallow me whole. WHAT IF I FAIL? WAIT A SECOND– I ALREADY FAILED– LOOK AT ALL THE PEANUT BUTTER I ATE!
The words Marty spoke as he cradled me in his arms were simple and delivered with love, and they lifted my spirits not only immensely, but immediately:
Please be kind to yourself.
There will never be another you!
It wasn’t an order or a demand– it was the answer. Holy paradigm shift! My angst simply dissolved when it met with Marty’s words. Snuggled in his loving arms, I felt a flash of realization:
Kindness is the first step.
Who knew? All this time, I’ve been doing things backwards: I always start with my mind (knowledge, information, statistics, a particular program, a list of ‘allowable’ foods, a certain diet, etc.) and then I promise my body and my spirit tenderness when (read: if) I succeed on whatever regime I’ve adopted. On a subconscious level, I’m only offering myself love, respect, and compassion as a reward for a job well done! WTF??
If you can believe it, I’ve repeated this backwards pattern ad nauseum since adolescence with the Wild Rose Cleanse, the Beauty Detox Solution, the ‘avoid gluten and chocolate’ program, the ‘stop eating rolled oats and lemons’ approach, the anti-candida diet, and most recently, with our elimination diet. In each case, I arm myself with important nutrition information (foods to eat, foods to avoid, milestones to achieve, etc., etc.) and impose that information on my body, knowing that if I just try hard enough or follow the rules closely enough, I will succeed. Who cares what my body thinks or how my body reacts? I find an odd comfort in deferring to the experts and take solace in the idea– however crazy it is– that somebody else knows how to make things right for me.
Who is in charge here? (Stained glass by artist Ted DeGrazia)
Here’s the kicker: even though I don’t go into these eating/diet programs consciously thinking that I’m soldiering off to war, that’s technically what’s happening. I am pitting my rational mind against my less-than-perfect body. Kindness isn’t often found in this equation, even though blind hope, optimism, and youthful naivety are. (In other words, I don’t undertake these programs in a willful desire to sabotage myself. I’m convinced in my mind that I am doing these things for the right reasons, but my body feels differently. It feels attacked and ignored.)
Using the awesome power of my mind, I control myself, discipline myself, deny myself, fix myself. And sometimes I do succeed. I lose x amount of pounds, or fit into x size of jeans, or get rid of x pesky condition (skin, digestion, whatever)… but it never lasts for long. Without starting from a foundation of kindness, change is not sustainable! (Dr. Obvious, yes, but I’m a Slow Learner and had never really thought about things that way before.) Without caring for myself and truly loving myself right-freaking-now, no amount of willpower or healthy eating practices are going to mean or matter much, even if I undertake them from a desire to ‘detox’ or ‘clean up my eating habits’ or ‘figure out my food allergies’. I won’t change anything about myself without enlisting everything of myself– my body, my spirit, and my mind.
(The potholder I really wanted but didn’t buy)
Kindness is the first step.
Wow, are you still reading? Kudos to you!
My fall from the top of the world into the deep recesses of my insecurities and back up into the light of a kindness-themed paradigm shift took all of 3 hours. (Yeah. I get around.) During that time, Leanne was still awesome. But so was I. My awareness finally caught on to the crazy obvious notion that it’s all good. Leanne’s amazing-ness in no way precludes or prevents my own. (And seriously– you should try making her recipes. They kick allergy ASS!) Judging myself more harshly than I’d ever judge anyone else makes zero sense. Eating peanut butter isn’t the end of the world. And loving myself is the start of something great!
Note: Even though the paradigm shift happened instantly, I realize that the practice of ‘genuine self love’ might take a little longer, despite the fact that my mind has officially declared myself Immediately and Perfectly Loved. Ha. I have started with 3 small practices– brushing my hair (which I haven’t done daily since I was about 12), oil pulling first thing in the morning, and giving myself mini foot massages every day– and reminding myself while I do those things that I deserve tenderness. So far, it seems to be working… slowly, subtly… and my hair is silky smooth! 🙂
What about you, readers? How do you pull yourselves up from the depths of insecurity? How do you honour the whole of your being– body, mind, and spirit? What are some of your favourite self-care practices? I’d love to hear from you!
zona pellucida 
I LOVE this post. I love the fact that you share your fears, vulnerability, mistakes and continued efforts. I admire your heroic approach to self improvement. I adore Marty for his wonderful advice. Dana, you are a gem and have lots lots lots to offer the world. Stay encouraged, and keep believing in your wonderful self. Best wishes!
Aw, thanks Cindy! I’m totally blushing right now (or wait– is that my rosacea?)
I really appreciate your words of support and encouragement. I have been on a rollercoaster of emotions for the past few weeks– one minute feeling triumphant and confident and then the next minute floundering and feeling afraid. Marty has been ROCK SOLID on this journey and is really helping me to push past the anxiety and fully step into my awesome potential. 🙂
I’m amused by the UNIQUE graphic. Of COURSE the whole reason people NEED a nutritionist is because they have a unique body, lifestyle, metabolic preference, allergies etc. The problem with most nutritionists is that they’re really good at ONE thing. So go be good at your thing so you can help those poor people who really need it!
So true, Lisa! Another thing I’ve “discovered” in the past two weeks is that no one diet works for me– or anybody else, for that matter. There’s always going to be something in a paradigm or program that doesn’t quite ‘fit’ with our individual bodies, so another one of my goals with the nutrition program is not to become so specialized that I lose sight of the bigger picture and infinite possibilities when it comes to nourishing ourselves. I appreciate you reading and commenting on this post– it was a bit of a doozy, I know. 🙂
Oh, man. Lots to relate to in this. It makes very little sense that we judge ourselves so harshly… but I think we all do it. Why??
Your line about having already failed by eating all the peanut butter was hilarious. You know, peanut butter isn’t so bad. At least it has nutritional value… I tend to do things like eat large bags of salt-and-vinegar chips, or crappy chocolate bars.
P.S. – I totally talked to your sister during her art performance last week in Montreal. She sewed a shiny gem onto my coat. It was awesome!!!
1. I don’t understand negative self-talk, even though I catch myself doing it all the time. Wouldn’t it be awesome if our default ego tendency was to encourage ourselves and whisper “You can do it!” whenever we felt insecure or afraid of taking the next step?
2. Being a total nerd, I actually googled “meaning of cravings for nut butter” after the Peanut Butter Incident. I found an article that suggested we reach for dense, hard-to-digest foods (like nut butters) when we’re feeling insecure and not powerful enough to own our full, authentic selves. According to this article, stuffing our bellies full of dense, sticky foods keeps our spiritual selves stuck as well. Something to ponder, yes?
3. It makes my heart ache to think of my sister! I miss her a ton and am happy you got to say hello to her in Montreal. Did you tell her that you ‘know’ me? SMALL WORLD! 🙂
Yeah! If I can tell other people “You can do it!” (and believe it, too), why can’t I tell myself the same thing?
My friend used to have weird cravings for crunching down on ice cubes… then she discovered it was a symptom of an iron deficiency! She’s been less ice-crazy since she started taking supplements. So weird.
And yes, I did introduce myself to your sister! We were in a glittery cave under a table, it was quite conducive to personal revelations. She then proceeded to tell me about some of the differences between the 3 of you… mainly that you’re shorter, and are the “organized” one. It was all very exciting!
Oooh, “The Secret World of Dana M.”, courtesy of my sister’s spilled beans! 🙂
I tried flipping the Peanut Butter Incident in my mind, replacing Marty with me. If Marty had told me how awful he felt about eating all the peanut butter, there’s NO WAY I would have chastised him. At all! In fact, if I’m being 100% honest, I probably would have thought he was over-reacting to the situation and I might have told him to get over himself. HA! After going through my little mind exercise, I got over myself and my peanut butter binge. 🙂
Dana – Thank you for sharing your heart. I echo what Cindy Ricksgers said. I admire your approach to life in general; your approach to personal development specifically. And I think Marty is the bee’s knees!
Thank you so much, Laurie. This post was easy to write but tricky to publish. I had a brief panic moment of thinking “I don’t want people to know I feel vulnerable!”, but then I remembered how supportive and amazing my blogging community is. (Also: I remembered that I am not the only person on the planet to have ever struggled with feelings of insecurity. There’s always that.)
Dana, how I love thee. I love that you wrote about this, that you struggle with feelings of insecurity like so many of us (probably even your new amazing food guru), that you pushed the publish button even as you panicked, that you’re really remembering to be kind to yourself AND that you’re sharing that with us.
I was so unkind to myself earlier this week it wasn’t even funny. 😦 It can be a deep pattern in some of us who struggle with insecurity. Let’s keep reminding each other–in a kind way–to be kind to ourselves.
I like that you’re so honest and you write from your heart. You’re da bestest, Sauerkraut Guru. And Kindness Guru. Give Marty a hug from all your friends.
Thank you, dear Kathy! Part of what made me panic about publishing this post was that I had the pleasure of speaking with Leanne over Skype the other day and confirmed that she really is cool and down-to-earth. Even though I quickly got over that initial urge to compare myself to her, I didn’t want to revisit those insecurities and/or reveal them to Leanne by publishing a whole post about them. Ooops, too late! 🙂
I sometimes need a gentle reminder to be kind to myself, so I’m happy to be a part of such a gentle and loving blog community. Thanks for reading!
Hi Dana~~are you still feeling the paradigm shift all these days later? I am just wondering because *so often* I feel the paradigm shift and then six days later I’m remembering it but not feeling it any more. And you? What has been retained all these days later?
Thank you for checking in, Kathy! I know all too well what it’s like to fall off the bandwagon (in all sorts of situations), but in this case, I’ve had lots of opportunity to stay in the Paradigm Shift Zone. I am taking an online course (gasp! While I’m on vacation!), and it is keeping all of my creative juices flowing abundantly. I’m super excited about the whole process, and yes– I’m still (trying to be) kind to myself… for the most part, anyway. 🙂
Bear with me – I’m going to *try* not to write the longest comment in the history of EVER…
Lemme start with OHMYGOODNESS I need to give you a hug right now! Long-distance internet hugs haven’t quite been perfected just yet (and, besides, you have Mr. Totally and Wonderfully Incredible Marty there in the flesh), but I hope this one makes it through even a little bit.
Yes, Leanne’s shoes would be metaphorically large ones to fill (I don’t know her actual shoe size, but they’re probably smaller than my size 11’s) BUT – and you’ve already sussed this out on your own 🙂 – We’re not trying to fill them! We’re over here in our own piece of the Great Blue Nowhere doing our own perfectly lovely things. I adore your blog posts – they always have so much energy, so much Capital R-E-A-L to them. Genuine. Playful. Gracious. Open-hearted. You and Leanne are like Canadian sister-souls who, along with The Yarn Harlot (Stephanie Pearl-McPhee), have taught me so much about America’s neighbor to the north. My life is richer in myriad ways from the DIFFERENT things each of you has brought to it simply by sharing yourselves in this crazy blogosphere.
I’m sure I had 10,000 other thoughts while I was reading, though some of them were derailed when I giggle at Ted DeGrazia’s stained glass bull testicles… Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.
So, I’ll share one more thing I learned from Leanne that is making a difference in my life right now: The Desire Map. Another exquisite Canadian woman roaring her power. I get caught in my own negative self-sabotage far too frequently and, lemmetellya, she will NOT let you stay in that place! I’ve finished her book The Fire Starter Sessions and I’m hoping to get The Desire Map through my work as part of this year’s Developmental Goal in my Personal Development Plan (note to self: when I run my own business, our planning will *not* look like corporate models).
A true and heartfelt “Thank You” to Marty for being seriously awesome and another huge hunk of gratitude to you, Dana darling, for being dynamically and dedicatedly YOU!
1. Your long-distance, virtual hug over the internet totally worked. I felt it and enjoyed it!
2. After my brief foray into the arena of insecurity, I delved back into my cheerleading mode, feeling awesome that there are so many talented people providing information, products, and services to others in this world! When I get certified as a Holistic Nutritionist, Leanne will be my #1 referral. Who needs to craft new recipes when somebody is already doing that to the nines?
3. Stained glass testicles really are something else, no? It would have felt wrong to omit them, but still…
4. Danielle LaPorte’s name has been coming up again and again for me lately. (Probably that universe conjuring up exactly the right resources again!) I know Leanne is taking the intensive course right now, and she spoke briefly about it during our Skype session the other day. I’ll definitely have to check into it, though I’ll have to wait until I’m back in Vic and have access to my public library again. I have been buying a few books down in AZ and am starting to wonder where everything is going to fit in the car ride home. 🙂
5. THANK YOU for everything– for reading, for commenting, for writing, for referring, and for being yourself. I’m pleased as punch to count you in my circle of friends, Michelle. xo
“On a subconscious level, I’m only offering myself love, respect, and compassion as a reward for a job well done!” is profound and something I can relate to totally. This is great, Dana – so well written and true.
I’m happy this post spoke to you, Peg. It’s not like I (or you) consciously threaten our bodies or serve it aggressive ultimatums, but my ‘aha!’ moment came when I realized that I was withholding my full love and acceptance from myself all the same. It’s been a real eye opener to try looking at myself through somebody else’s (kinder, gentler) eyes instead of through the ever-critical, always-judgmental voice of my Inner Tyrant. Who knew I was so awesome and worthy? 🙂
Being kind to our OWN selves is so important and I thank you for sharing such a powerful post! I have done that too where I eat too much at once and then realize what I did… we all do it and no one is perfect xxoo
It’s like the flip side of the Golden Rule, right? I’ve always been treating other people with ultra kindness and respect, without even thinking to shine that loving light on myself, too. It’s amazing what revelations a half-eaten jar of peanut butter will offer us. 🙂
PS: Even though I know in an abstract way that I am not the first person in the history of the planet to eat too much of something, it’s still reassuring to know that I’m not the only one. Phew!
What a great post. Thank you for being so open. And hugs to Marty for his words of wisdom. Being king to yourself is one of the best things we can do for ourselves. So often we only see the outside of others but be assured everyone of us has insecurities in some form. Just be the best YOU, there is no other. Hugs Dana.
Thanks for the feedback, Lesley! The more I think about it, the more I realize how FUNDAMENTAL self-care and self-love are to our overall well being. It seems so obvious in retrospect (and such a simple concept!), but I was so caught up in my mind and fears before, I couldn’t even see it.
“Be the best YOU” is a great motto to live by. If I was a tattoo person, I just might have to stamp that one on my forehead. 🙂
Darling Dana,
You are wonderful. I love how you are human, it makes everything easier to relate to.
You inspiring others (definitely me) to take those baby steps into what ever it may be.
For example, I now have all the things needed for my sauerkraut. I’ve got the jar, my cabbage, bottle water and a warm place for after. I’m going in this weekend!
Honestly, I wouldn’t have done it if I hadn’t found your blog. Kimberly is good but she comes across as so perfect, I was scared to start as in case it wouldn’t be as perfect as hers.
Reading your adventures and success in making it, has given e the confidence and the OK that if it doesn’t turn out right the first time to just keep trying.
Yay you, and Yay to your hubbie!
Oh, Nic– you have NO IDEA how reassuring your comment is! (And how much it warms my silly little heart to hear about you being ready to make your own kraut. It’s the really simple things that please this simple girl, I guess!)
I went through a spell where I totally rejected everything the Beauty Detox book was about, simply because I felt intimidated by the same ‘Perfection Factor’ you mentioned. Kimberly’s level of health, beauty, and well-being seemed to be totally unattainable for a regular person like me, so I gave up on EVERYTHING she recommended for a bit… and ate things like peanut butter by the jar full instead. Ha!
Over time, I’ve returned to a lot of the things I really like about the BDS (um, hello kraut!), but I’ve also come to the realization that no one program is ever 100% right for any person. I’m only back to the BDS on my own terms. We’re all so unique as individuals, and it would be crazy for any one set of food recommendations to fully fit us. I am picking and choosing things that feel right for my body, and it’s pretty liberating to know that we don’t have to trap ourselves in a box with some diet label, e.g. “I’m a vegan!”, “I’m raw!”, or “I’m Paleo!” To heck with diet labels. 🙂
This journey has also allowed me to get in touch with The Real Me– not the Me who wants or tries to be like somebody else (ahem, Kimberly– I’m talking to you!) The Real Me is book smart but maybe not as street smart. She’s goofy and yearning and striving and cautious. She makes mistakes and is slowly learning to laugh at herself when mistakes happen. She’s often stuck in her mind but is willing to journey into her heart. I thank you SO MUCH, Nic, for reading and for offering your support and friendship. It truly means a lot. 🙂
Hello my dear,
Please excuse the long radio silence. It took ages to get my internet sorted from the move (my previous comment was a sneaky work one).
Anyway, I’m back 🙂
So, I made the kraut! Woo!!! No disasters yet. I did worry after a couple of days in case the jar was too over packed and might explode so I took a little bit of the rolled leaves out. I check it every day like a hen waiting for a chick to hatch. It’s been a week now. Not sure when it’s ready. I’ll leave it a little longer. I’ll let you know how it tastes when I open it!
I’ve also recently come to realise that it’s finding a way of eating that suits me rather than as you say, getting trapped in a diet box. It’s hard though with everyone shouting bout how great they feel on x, y and z diets. Yes, find the real self. Love it!
Thanks for your friendship and taking time to reply to comments. I truly hope that one day we’ll meet in the real world. I’m sure we’ll get on like a house on fire (or maybe I may accidentally set the house on fire – I have set fire to toast before – I never even knew bread could be so flammable! 🙂
Big hugs from over the pond xx
The radio silence comment slays me, mainly because I’ve been going weeks… or months… between blog posts. Nothing but static round these here internet parts! 🙂
I hope the move went smoothly. It can be a real pain in the backside to haul everything you own to a new place and then let everyone know where they can reach you now, but AT LEAST YOU HAVE INTERNET ACCESS. This is all that matters.
My magic wait time for kraut is 10 days. I usually sample it on Day 10, and if it’s not ‘zesty’ enough, I’ll let it sit a while longer. 10 days is usually fine. One of these days, I’m going to figure out how to make a video of me packing a kraut jar, observing it compulsively with watchful hen eyes while it ferments, and then CAUTIOUSLY opening the jar after 10 or so days have passed. I’m sure the internet will be greatly enriched by my (probably low quality, superbad audio) clip of me opening a jar of sauerkraut. But inquiring minds need to know (and sometimes need to SEE, too!) Don’t hold your breath, but this kraut video is a goal of mine.
PS: I’m positive that we’d get along famously. That said, I’m officially inviting myself to your place if/when I ever make it over the pond. Consider yourself warned. 😉
You can totally stay with me WHEN you come over this way. We’d have great fun.
Film and TV is my industry so we can make the video together of us being two mother hens clucking over the jars.
“Day 5, the hens lovingly look at the jars and check if the bubbles are bubbly enough……”
“Day 7, the hens put on a wooly hat on the jars as they look a little chilly”
Etc etc…
Personally I don’t mind blog posts being intermintent. I find the weekly/daily ones too much in this day and age of over stimulation of data. Your posts are so great that it’s worth the wait. Rather than people feeling obliged to post every day/week and filling up with just stuff.
Take care dear x
I totally appreciate your feedback re: the sporadic nature of my blog posts! I feel the same way about the less-frequent blogs I read (i.e. not as pressured to keep up!, totally appreciate the content more, etc.) So happy to hear I’m not the only one, even if it just makes two of us mother hens in a sea of thousands… 😉
I had to stand up and applaud for a minute. That’s how wonderful you are, and this post is. And then I started singing the song that goes with your “What’s the buzz?…” lol! My bad singing aside, this is a very inspiring post (and you are a very inspiring woman).
I had a similar day yesterday, one in which I was so deeply unhappy with the way I’ve been attacking myself. It wasn’t peanut butter, though, which at least has some redeeming qualities. It was (gasp!) jellybeans. Sometimes the closer I get to truth, the harder it is to see it. I suspect that’s what was happening yesterday.
Since you mentioned Deepak, check this out:
http://www.chopracentermeditation.com/
That should (I hope) take you to the meditation challenge. I’m a week into it and love the centering thoughts regarding the body as well as the meditations.
Thanks for the applause, the singing, and the link to Deepak’s meditation challenge. I appreciate ALL THREE!
I have had a while to simmer, stew, and otherwise reflect after writing this post. Beating ourselves up seems to be such a widespread issue, and the funny (or sad) thing is that being gentle to ourselves isn’t rocket science! It’s amazing how deeply we trap ourselves into our minds, when all self-love takes is a little awareness of our spirit and an openness to tend to it.
I love your door pictures.
It’s hard to imagine someone as fabulous as you being plagued by an insecurity! And so sweet Marty’s reminder to be kind to yourself. What a great guy.
Regular meditation and yoga are my regular self-care practices. Meditation in particular helps when insecurity rears her head. She came for a visit with me as well earlier this week – the morning I missed meditation, in fact.
Meditation is helpful for me as well, but some days I get so far out of the zen zone I establish in the morning, it’s not even funny! (Maybe I’ll have to start incorporating a 15-min cool down meditation every evening before I go to bed, too. Balance things out a bit more?)
I get better and better at managing my insecurities. My main insecurity comes from my lack of insecurity. Sometimes I go into a challenge with so much confidence and then I look around and realize everybody else looks worried and I wonder what they know that I don’t know.
Such a tough life, isn’t it Greatsby? Your whole existence must be like that fascinating Radiohead video for “Just”, only in reverse.
Good to see you online. I know I’m not the only person who’s suffered from the lack of daily GG posts…
But you’re probably one of the few that remembers I used to post every day.