Finding a Cure for Over-Giving

This is a big one for me: balancing the energy I give with the energy I receive. And once again, it all comes back to boundaries.

Weighing out what I give with what I receive.

Like a lot of women especially (although men can definitely be affected by this as well), I have a history of pleasing— taking pains to be of service to other people in some way but not always stepping back and making sure that my own energetic cup is full. To phrase this in ‘boundary’ terms, my track record features loose and lax boundaries when it comes to my energy expenditure but really tight and strong boundaries when it comes to my willingness to receive energy.

A lot gets out, but not a lot gets back in.

Thankfully, with practice and awareness, I’m getting so much better at receiving energy, whether that energy is in the form of love, money, time, support, or relaxation. Every now and then, I will relapse into Super-Woman mode, thinking I can handle everything without any assistance from anyone or anything (um, haha?), but as I engage with my own practices and personal growth tools, this imbalance between giving and receiving is definitely becoming less frequent and less intense.

Just look at me receiving fun and love! Hooray for me!

Just look at me receiving fun and love on a mountain top in Tucson! Hooray for me!

If you are a giver, if you are a nurturer, and if one of your greatest desires in life is to be helpful to others or to lift people up, then today’s video is for you.

In the video, I cover:

  • Energy imbalances– when giving outweighs receiving
  • The issue behind the issue– it’s not about “other people not giving back to us”; it’s about our willingness to receive what other people already give to us
  • How to create an Energy Inventory to see how balanced you are with giving and receiving right now
  • Strategies to help you amp up your capacity to receive

Also, when I was creating this video for you, something dawned on me: I have inadvertently been blocking myself from receiving your energy for the past few weeks. Ahem. Remember when I had the insight to close comments on the blog? Well, during the time that comments were closed, I allowed myself the space to sift through my own energy, searching for intentions behind my actions. I realized that my intention to be of service to you, my beloved reader, runs deep and strong. However, in order to be of the most and highest service, I also need to be willing to receive energy back. (Otherwise, there’s an imbalance!) My experiment in closing comments will be short lived, although there is still no pressure to leave evidence of your visit here. 🙂 Give and receive what feels best and right for you. Thank you!

–xo, Dana

[Video]: Creating Flexible Boundaries for Yourself

Greetings, my dearest reader! I hope you are doing well and that your energy is radiating love and high vibrations. 🙂

How are you when it comes to setting boundaries for yourself?

Stop in the name of love!

Stop in the name of love!

For a (very) long time, I struggled to set boundaries for myself at all. I had a very difficult time separating my own energy out from the energies of other people, and I regularly burnt myself out taking on emotions, drama, and issues that weren’t even mine to begin with. Not fun. (Or healthy.)

Then, when I gradually started to marshal the courage and self-respect needed to establish clear boundaries for myself, I veered too much in the opposite direction: I set really firm, totally inflexible, and borderline OCD boundaries, which let nothing and nobody in. Again: Not fun. And still not healthy. Can you relate?

I know that I’m not alone in trying to find a middle ground when it comes to setting boundaries. This week’s video explores boundaries and opens the door to a new perspective on setting clear but flexible boundaries for yourself. You can watch it here:

Highlights that are covered in the video include:

  • The one-sided way that most of us tend to view boundaries
  • The main problem with this one-sided perspective on boundaries
  • The ‘boundary setting’ spectrum– where do you fall on the continuum at this point in your life?
  • A visualization exercise to help you understand boundaries as more flexible and dynamic (vs rigid and indiscriminate)

Bonus! I actually recorded this video during daylight hours and with a real camera vs with my laptop’s crappy built-in webcam. So you can see me! Crisply! Yeah!!

I hope you enjoy seeing my actual face and my real facial features… and obviously, I also hope that this video is helpful for you. Heh. More information and support around boundaries to come. 🙂

–xo, Dana

PS: If you have a question or topic you would like me to cover in a future blog post or video, fire me an e-mail to let me know. I’m always happy to help! Have a beautiful day and week…