It would be misleading and downright dishonest of me to brag about the small successes I’ve had in my personal Beauty Detox Journey without also sharing the challenges I’ve faced and the obstacles I’ve encountered. For one thing, I haven’t exactly been diligent when it comes to monitoring my intake of sweet foods and (randomly– since I haven’t eaten them in a while) baked goods. For another thing, I have put on more than 5 pounds in less than 5 weeks, which may or may not have anything to do with the resurgence of my sweet tooth. What do you think? 😦
Funnily enough, shortly after posting an online confession about my sordid history of sneaking food and eating copious amounts of candy, I started craving sugar again. I had been fine for a relatively long period of time before writing that post, but getting that secret out into the open must have kicked up some old, sugary dust. I found myself gravitating towards homemade truffles in Costco-sized servings and soon afterward, I developed particularly violent yearnings for homemade berry cake, also in Costco-worthy portions. What gives?
While I was busy inhaling family-sized portions of homemade treats (I bake in bulk!), I told myself that things could be much, much worse: I could be eating Twinkies washed down with Dairy Queen Blizzards and Pepsi every day. I could be camping out at the Lil Debbies’ headquarters every night. It could be worse… right?
But it could also be better.
When I outgrew my ‘off-season’, regular-sized pants and had to squeeze into my roomier, ‘Harbour-sized’ jeans a full 3 months early, I knew the gig was up. I had (disappointingly) (hopefully only temporarily) failed at the Beauty Detox Program. 😦 😦 😦 (<— that’s how sad it was to get to this point, very recently I’ll confess. Sad x 3)
Obviously, I’ve been finding it particularly challenging to establish balance in my day-to-day life since returning to work on the Harbour. A prototypical late-June baby (Cancerian through and through!), I am a creature of habit, and having my normal routines disrupted substantially by my new work hours has left me floundering. A lot. When I’d normally be cooking, working out, doing chores, or blogging, I am now down by the water. Working! All day long! With nary an all-access pass to Ye Olde Internet! I’ve been especially cranky lately, and my poor body has been going into overdrive trying to reclaim at least a semblance of balance again.
Unfortunately, my body’s idea of “balance” doesn’t necessarily involve striving for moderation in everything. Instead, it overcompensates for any perceived extremes in my life by hurtling me in the exact opposite direction until a zero-sum state of equilibrium has been achieved.
E.g.: Eating monster-sized portions of leafy greens and other healthy foods? Better round things off with Godzilla-sized slabs of cake! You can thank me later!
Lost 8 pounds recently with careful attention paid to diet and exercise? Whoopsies! Guess we’ll have to tip the scales back up to your starting weight– nothing lost, nothing gained! LOL!
Taking a healthy step back from work-related tasks during the off season? Looks like it’s time to work around the clock again! All work, no play! Back to the grind, little miss! xoxo!!
I must say that I’m pretty mortified (bordering on devastated) to find myself in this predicament, especially so early into the Harbour season. I hate not being able to blog, and it irritates me to have my entire life revolve around work (even though I’m extremely fortunate to work where I do and I love working with Marty as well. I know that I’m a very lucky lady, which apparently gives me permission to whine excessively about trivial matters. Heh.) I know that my weight, especially, is just a stone-cold number on a icy-hearted machine, but still. It’s no fun having to bust out my stretchy pants ever, let alone way ahead of schedule. (Long-term readers will recall that I have recorded an 8-pound weight gain during both of my previous two Harbour seasons. At least I’m consistent! (??) *Frantically trying to look on the bright side. Also: Grasping at straws.*
I know, I know. I mustn’t beat myself up over the decided lack of balance in my life (or those extra pounds in my pants, to be more specific). It’s time to just pick myself up and move on like the Big Girl I am. (Literally. Har har.)
I envy the people who can (or already have) achieved real balance in their lives and who don’t have to obsess over maintaining it every waking second of every day. Wouldn’t it be nice to gravitate naturally– almost effortlessly— towards a perfect state of equilibrium? An equal amount of time spent working and playing? Online and offline? Eating healthily and occasionally indulging? (Do such people and lifestyles even exist?)
I’m not there yet. But I’ve got my eyes on that prize. Yes, you heard me, Balance: I’m watching you…