If I Could Make You Do Something Every Day… This Would Be It

The sweep and the holdI’m not one for forcing things on people, whether it’s a belief, a practice, or– um, myself. Heh. Most times, I prefer to let people find their own ways in life, and usually, I’m quite content to mind my own business.

However.

Let me show you a video where I (gently) force some concepts onto you. :)

In this video, I introduce two quick and simple techniques that can be used on a daily basis to lower the stress response and to keep your brain in creative-thinking mode. Put together, these techniques take less than three minutes to do, and really simply:

They just feel good.

(So get on it, yo!)

Disclaimer: I didn’t invent these points. No, that honor goes to the legendary Donna Eden, who has taught millions of people worldwide about the benefits of energy medicine through her books, workshops, and certification programs. I first encountered Donna’s work through my teacher, Dr. Leonard Thornton, and have since been faithfully incorporating many of her techniques into my daily routines. I really swear by them and hope you will benefit from them as well!

[Now, allow me to step up on my soap box and say with the utmost sincerity:]

If everybody did these two things every day, the world wouldn’t just be a different place– it would be a better place. So watch the video, learn the techniques, and see how they work for you.

Are there routines, techniques, or points that you use on a daily basis to help with stress?

How do you keep your mind clear and your energy in balance?

Finding a Cure for Over-Giving

This is a big one for me: balancing the energy I give with the energy I receive. And once again, it all comes back to boundaries.

Weighing out what I give with what I receive.

Like a lot of women especially (although men can definitely be affected by this as well), I have a history of pleasing– taking pains to be of service to other people in some way but not always stepping back and making sure that my own energetic cup is full. To phrase this in ‘boundary’ terms, my track record features loose and lax boundaries when it comes to my energy expenditure but really tight and strong boundaries when it comes to my willingness to receive energy.

A lot gets out, but not a lot gets back in.

Thankfully, with practice and awareness, I’m getting so much better at receiving energy, whether that energy is in the form of love, money, time, support, or relaxation. Every now and then, I will relapse into Super-Woman mode, thinking I can handle everything without any assistance from anyone or anything (um, haha?), but as I engage with my own practices and personal growth tools, this imbalance between giving and receiving is definitely becoming less frequent and less intense.

Just look at me receiving fun and love! Hooray for me!

Just look at me receiving fun and love on a mountain top in Tucson! Hooray for me!

If you are a giver, if you are a nurturer, and if one of your greatest desires in life is to be helpful to others or to lift people up, then today’s video is for you.

In the video, I cover:

  • Energy imbalances– when giving outweighs receiving
  • The issue behind the issue– it’s not about “other people not giving back to us”; it’s about our willingness to receive what other people already give to us
  • How to create an Energy Inventory to see how balanced you are with giving and receiving right now
  • Strategies to help you amp up your capacity to receive

Also, when I was creating this video for you, something dawned on me: I have inadvertently been blocking myself from receiving your energy for the past few weeks. Ahem. Remember when I had the insight to close comments on the blog? Well, during the time that comments were closed, I allowed myself the space to sift through my own energy, searching for intentions behind my actions. I realized that my intention to be of service to you, my beloved reader, runs deep and strong. However, in order to be of the most and highest service, I also need to be willing to receive energy back. (Otherwise, there’s an imbalance!) My experiment in closing comments will be short lived, although there is still no pressure to leave evidence of your visit here. :) Give and receive what feels best and right for you. Thank you!

–xo, Dana

[Video]: Creating Flexible Boundaries for Yourself

Greetings, my dearest reader! I hope you are doing well and that your energy is radiating love and high vibrations. :)

How are you when it comes to setting boundaries for yourself?

Stop in the name of love!

Stop in the name of love!

For a (very) long time, I struggled to set boundaries for myself at all. I had a very difficult time separating my own energy out from the energies of other people, and I regularly burnt myself out taking on emotions, drama, and issues that weren’t even mine to begin with. Not fun. (Or healthy.)

Then, when I gradually started to marshal the courage and self-respect needed to establish clear boundaries for myself, I veered too much in the opposite direction: I set really firm, totally inflexible, and borderline OCD boundaries, which let nothing and nobody in. Again: Not fun. And still not healthy. Can you relate?

I know that I’m not alone in trying to find a middle ground when it comes to setting boundaries. This week’s video explores boundaries and opens the door to a new perspective on setting clear but flexible boundaries for yourself. You can watch it here:

Highlights that are covered in the video include:

  • The one-sided way that most of us tend to view boundaries
  • The main problem with this one-sided perspective on boundaries
  • The ‘boundary setting’ spectrum– where do you fall on the continuum at this point in your life?
  • A visualization exercise to help you understand boundaries as more flexible and dynamic (vs rigid and indiscriminate)

Bonus! I actually recorded this video during daylight hours and with a real camera vs with my laptop’s crappy built-in webcam. So you can see me! Crisply! Yeah!!

I hope you enjoy seeing my actual face and my real facial features… and obviously, I also hope that this video is helpful for you. Heh. More information and support around boundaries to come. :)

–xo, Dana

PS: If you have a question or topic you would like me to cover in a future blog post or video, fire me an e-mail to let me know. I’m always happy to help! Have a beautiful day and week…

Are You Criticizing Yourself for being Critical of Yourself? (Also: A Sample Coaching Session on Video!)

inner critic cycle

My Inner Critic about to scoot down a kid’s slide at Universal Studios. For the record: Marty was planning to slide down *with* me in a 2-person, choo-choo train formation. However, before he was able to link legs with me, I slipped out of his reach, yelping like a surprised puppy as I tore down that slide like nobody’s business. Alas. I skinned my elbow on the way down AND shot out of the bottom of the slide, legs straight out, before landing flat on my butt. Thankfully, nobody saw me. Phew! But I digress…

Do you judge yourself for being judgmental? Are you layering blame and nastiness onto more blame and nastiness? Are you practically in a competition with yourself, racing to see how much guilt, shame, criticism, judgment, blame, and insults you need to dole out before you’ll effectively be “motivated” to change?

Please, pull up a seat and join the club.

As intelligent, perceptive, and competent women, we “know better” than to judge ourselves. We’ve read about the ego, we understand the origins and consequences of fear-based thinking, and we certainly “know better” than to indulge our inner critic. We’re familiar with the concept of self-love, we accept the need to shift away from perfectionism and to embrace our imperfections… but then? Maybe we make a mistake and chastise ourselves for “knowing better” than that. Or perhaps we fall off the diet wagon (again) and then raise our hands to the heavens in frustration. I know better than this!, we rage. Why do I keep sabotaging myself, even though I know better?

Here’s the thing (and I suggest you print this next sentence out and possibly have it tattooed on your body… ideally somewhere highly visible):

Telling yourself you “know better” doesn’t actually make you FEEL better.

In fact, “knowing better” usually makes you feel even worse about yourself, because it adds an extra veneer of judgment onto something that is already pretty raw and tender with criticism. Ouch.

Thankfully, there’s a simple and effective way to put a stop to the endless layers of guilt, judgment, and criticism. As with most of the techniques I share on the blog these days (afformations, anyone?), this one seems totally counter-intuitive at first. However, once you start practicing (and playing with) it regularly, I’m sure you’ll find– as I have in my own life– that it works, period.

Ready? Okay. Picture the scene: You catch yourself being critical for some reason, and then you notice (with a familiar hint of judgment) that you’re criticizing yourself for being critical. You can go one of two ways now:

1. You can criticize yourself… for criticizing yourself… for being critical of yourself. (Um, not recommended.)

-OR-

2. You can accept the parts of you that are feeling critical and judgmental. (Yes, you can.) This is as easy as saying*:

Even though I’m feeling really critical of myself right now, I’m choosing to accept myself and the way I feel.

Ahhhhh… Can you feel the difference that acceptance makes?

Like a breath of fresh air!

Like a breath of fresh air!

*You don’t have to say this out loud, but it totally helps. (For real.)

To illuminate this idea further, and to offer some additional ways to turn down the volume on the nasty voice of our Critical Mind, I thought it would be helpful to share one of the coaching sessions I recorded for a client of mine. This video was sent to her as a one-way stand-in for an actual Skype conversation (thank you, sketchy internet connections!), but I have edited out any identifying or otherwise confidential information about her in this version of the video.

Anyway. This recorded session covers the following topics:

  • The defining qualities of our Mind’s Voice (aka the Inner Critic)
  • A guided visualization exercise, to allow the Inner Critic time and space to scrutinize our bodies (yes, I realize how counter-intuitive and even sadistic this sounds!)
  • The distinguishing characteristics of our Spirit Voice or Source Voice (aka our Inner Guide)
  • 3 specific energy medicine techniques that can be used to calm the body’s stress response and to open the door for new perspectives
  • An exercise to help you shift away from the Mind’s Voice and towards the Spirit/Source Voice, when it comes to your weight and your body
  • What to do if/when you encounter our old friend, Resistance!

Be forewarned: this video is close to 40 minutes long and thus requires more than a fraction of your undivided attention. It’s worth it, though! It will definitely provide you with some practical, easy-to-implement tips that can help you lower stress and self-judgment on a daily basis. As well, it showcases my unique flavor of coaching, which apparently involves a blend of earnestness, silliness, and gigantic hands. (You’ll have to watch the video to understand that last part…)

And just a reminder, if you are interested in partaking in a complimentary coaching session before I start to charge for them on April 1st, please send me an e-mail and we can make arrangements from there.

I hope this article and this video were helpful!      xx –Dana