In case it isn’t obvious, I haven’t posted here in months. And months. (And months!) It’s not that I didn’t have anything to say– I did. It’s not that I couldn’t find the time to post– I could.
The thing is… I was being bullied into keeping my mouth shut. Yes, bullied! SHE told me that my ideas weren’t original, profound, or immaculate enough to merit a push of the publish button. SHE said that I could either be humorous or helpful, sarcastic or spiritual, but that I could never, ever, EVER be an offbeat mixture of the two. (After all, that would be blasphemous!)
SHE is Sister Flowing Goddess Skirt, and for a while– up until this very moment, in fact– I believed everything she said. And so the writing stopped. My voice dried up like a California raisin, dusty and uncertain, and Sister Flowing Goddess Skirt stood watch, ensuring that nothing suspect (i.e. helpful and entertaining) got posted here “accidentally” in the meantime.
Spoiler alert: Sister Flowing Goddess Skirt is technically still me, only she’s the version of me who insists that everything self help-related be delivered in syrupy packets, swirling cursive, and/or sanitized affirmations.
“Reach for the stars!”, she will sing, her voice vanilla-scented and tinkling like the most delicate of bells. “Dream big and stay in school!”
Regular Me resists this flowery, woo-woo voodoo– fiercely. Pointedly. Aggressively. Still, though– Regular Me is drawn inexplicably towards things like crystals, tarot cards, and universal magic, and yet equally, viciously terrified of being sucked into a vortex of patchouli and tie-dye, never to return.
I say affirmations to myself in the mirror and worry that Sister Flowing Goddess Skirt is peering over my shoulder, secretly setting a honey-kissed trap and plotting to steal my sense of humor forever. I complete a morning energy medicine routine and fear that she will swallow me whole! “Do you like the Law of Attraction?”, I imagine her coaxing me, her inquiry deceptively innocuous. “If so, pay the toll: NOTHING FUNNY CAN BE WRITTEN FROM THIS DAY FORWARD, FOREVER AND EVER, SO HELP YOU GODDESS.” Yeesh!
I want to talk about how awesome my abundance altar is, but not if I have to weave daisy chains through my peasant-inspired pleats to do so. (Sister Flowing Goddess Skirt would love that.)
I’m practically itching to tell you everything I’ve learned about tapping and energy medicine lately, but certainly not if I have to deliver my words in a solemn, earnest tone, delicately touching my heart chakra (you know, to keep the channels open.)
There’s so, so much to show and so, so much to tell, but honestly? I can’t bear to share any of it if I have to do it, Magick Faery Goddess Wind Chimes-style. That’s just not my style… most of the time, anyway. Heh.
So here’s what I propose:
I’m going to learn, and I’m going to share what I’ve learned here.
Sometimes, you might have to refrain from guffawing at your computer screen while you are at the office, reading my posts while you are supposed to be working. (That’s how outrageous and hilarious they might be!)
At other times, Sister Flowing Goddess Skirt might have her way with me, and I’ll serenely impart some nuggets of universal wisdom to you, perhaps causing you to touch your heart chakra involuntarily (you know, to keep the channels open).
Either way, I’m tired of not writing and tired of not saying all of the things that need to be said. Sound cool? Excellent.
I’ve missed you!
How you been since February?
Ah, Dana, I didn’t realize how much I’d missed you…until I read this! I’m looking forward to all your wisdom, doled out with your wild life stories and quirky humor intact! Welcome back!
Thanks, Cindy! Hopefully Sister Flowing Goddess Skirt has quieted down for now. 😉
It is good to have you back. Tell sister flowing Goddess skirt to write her own blog and leave yours alone. 🙂
Good idea, Lisa! Maybe she can guest post here every now and then…
Hello my dear!
I’ve missed you loads but you’ve been in my thoughts.
I know EXACTLY what you mean and I’ve been thinking along the same theme as you over the last few months. I want the alternative-to-mainstream healing, nutrition, learning, being etc but, like you, this fluff floaty stuff just isn’t me and I resist it. I don’t want the syrupy coated rainbow unicorns and vanilla sanitised affirmations.
What I’ve recently realised is that I want the raw, earthy, kick ass, strong, powerfulness. Still healing and helping but with a more down to earth primal than the ethereal side (which isn’t bad but just not my thing). If I ride a unicorn it will be a big muscular stallion with my hair flowing and possibly a big medieval sword through forests 🙂
Stay with true you. The you I connected with is the one who is real. You made sauerkraut, you had trials and tribulations but YOU STILL DID IT and you helped others like me, just give it a go. It makes you human. It’s not the being perfect in life, it’s the progression of life. What is perfect? Perfect to one person is hell to another.
And how do we discover things if we don’t walk off the path and into some woodland?
You’re awesome. Keep writing, keep connecting, keep letting us know how you’re doing. Keep being you xx
Ack! I totally squealed when I read about your muscular unicorn ride through the forest. YES!!! We could leave Sister Flowing Goddess Skirt behind us in the dust, side-saddling her wispy pony, ankles crossed curtly. Ha.
In all honesty, I’ve been doing a lot of seemingly airy-fairy things lately (and benefiting from them immensely), but I couldn’t find a way to write about them that felt good and true and honest FOR ME. Luckily, I just happened upon an amazing teacher who combines startling intuitions with swear words and hilarity. It feels right. I’m ready for this!
Thanks so much for the thoughts and words. They mean a lot! xx
I agree, the airy fairy stuff does work, but you and I need a different packaging 🙂
I hope you find a way to write of your experiences in your voice. The things you do, always help others too.
I look forward to our rides on stallions. I’ll see you on that astral plane and we’ll do it.
Take care my dear x
I love your posts and missed you. Please keep writing. It’s beautiful.
Aw, thanks Lesley! Maybe I’ve re-emerged from a mini dark night of the soul? (Not that anything traumatic has been happening– I’ve just been doing a lot of searching and questioning these days.) NO LONGER IN SILENCE- RAWR!! Hope you are doing well!
welcome, Welcome, WELCOME back! 🙂
Thanks, Laurie! I really appreciate the warm welcome. 🙂
You’re always awesome xo
You as well! xo
Sister, look at how many people missed you in your absence. I would think every once in a while, where’s Dana? But people seem to come and go here on the Internet and you either get used to it or you cry a lot. I used to cry a lot, but now I’m brave and (sometimes) remember that people have a life and other options, etc., and get over it.
It’s amazing how many inner selves through which we have to navigate. Or, if you don’t believe in multiple inner selves, let’s just call it inner opinions. So you have sister flowing skirt. And then there’s all these other versions of Dana who come together as *you*. And where is the energy the strongest? It sounds like the energy is building toward blogging/sharing, or at least one part of you enjoys this while other parts don’t. I am typing around in circles so shall depart with a delight to have seen you in early September, and perhaps again this fall, should the Universe allow.
Hey Kathy! Nice to see you here. I am definitely drawn towards sharing and being of service but felt hollow this summer when everything “helpful” came out of me sounding “not like me”, if that makes any sense. (Who is this flowery imposter?, I asked myself many times.) Anyway, I’ve been wearing an aqua aura around my neck all summer, and gradually my multiple selves are coalescing into a quartz-like unified self, reflecting different facets outward depending on the light. It’s all good, and it definitely feels great to have finally pushed the publish button on something! 😉
Oh! I do hope this means more posts are coming in the near future. 🙂
It’s been too long!
So true! Yes, other posts are planned. Fingers crossed that plans = reality. Ha!
Welcome back! I’ve missed you, too. Would you believe there is a twin to your Sister Flowing Goddess Skirt? She lives here. With me. Within me, actually. The problem I have with her is that people who barely know me automatically know about her (although they refer to that part of me as a hippie… go figure). So glad to see you back in the blog neighborhood again, and looking forward to more posts, no matter which part of you writes them. 🙂
Haha, thanks for uncovering Sister Flowing Goddess Skirt’s twin– separated at birth! 🙂 It feels good to be back. Nice seeing you around these parts again!