Acting “As If” For the Win!

Several months ago, I was inspired by fellow blogger Robin to sign up for daily Notes From The Universe e-mails. These little nuggets of inspiration are sent out weekday mornings and contain pithy words of wisdom and lots of cheerleading from The Universe. “Rah, rah Dana– you’re amazing!” and “Reach for your fabulous dreams, Dana– you can do it!” sort of stuff. Things like that are right up my alley.

When you sign up to receive the Notes in your own inbox, you are asked to create a profile– basic things like your name and e-mail address, but also two of your most sacred hopes and dreams for yourself. These dreams have a character limit and need to be written out in a specific fashion so they can be inserted– proper grammar sort of intact– into special Notes every couple of weeks or so. Here’s the thing: Even though I’m fully aware that I personally created this profile for myself, I’m always secretly shocked when there are references to my biggest dreams within the daily Note. Sometimes I even feel tears springing to the corners of my eyes reading them, like, “OMG! How did the Universe know?!“ (It’s embarrassing. Yeah.)

Anyway. On December 20th, this was the Note I received from The Universe:

Hey Dana, great news!!!

Your new book sold out, again, “A Gorgeous Bright Serene Spacious Waterfront Home For Everyone!” Readers loved the chapter on “Acting As If.”

By the way, your publicist called and asked if she could bring her boyfriend to San Tropez?

And you said, “Darling, she can bring anyone she wants.”

Success has so not changed you,
The Universe

Predictably, when reading this Note, I was all, “OMG! How did the Universe know that one of my secret dreams refers to a gorgeous bright serene spacious waterfront home? And as a tangent: how perfect is it that the Universe also has a penchant for using too many exclamation points? It’s a match made in heaven!!!” (Full disclosure: my true secret dream actually contains commas and personal pronouns when it’s typed out, all official-style, but my, oh my— I do love me some serenity on the waterfront!)

In case you didn’t figure it out, this is me being serene on the waterfront. They don’t call me “Dr. Obvious” for nothing.

I’ll confess that I let out a goofy laugh when I first read this Note. Telltale tears also pricked the corners of my eyes (those emotional bastards!). I noticed Marty glancing at me with question marks in his eyes, so I tried to act all nonchalant and whatevs by… letting out an even more exaggerated guffaw. No words. Just guffaws. The sheer force of this way-too-loud laugh then squeezed out more tears from my eyes, so I was hee-hawing and half-crying at the same time. Classy moment alert!

Why was I even more awkward than usual when reading this particular note, you might wonder? Well, first off: I was thunderstruck by the “Acting As If” reference in this note. We all learned in “Manifestation 101” class that one of the best ways to bring about something is to “act as if” it’s already there. And guess what, dear readers? On December 20th, I happened to read my special Note from the Universe whilst checking my e-mail at a badass computer desk in a gorgeous, bright, serene and spacious waterfront home. (FOR REALZ!!!)

Here’s where it happened! At a wicked cool desk made out of airplane wings… or something. But the home! Check out the brightness and spaciousness of the home in the background, though!

Yes! I am so on top of this “Acting As If” chapter! Marty and I are babysitting a dream home in Seattle for the holidays, so for two full weeks, I will be fully immersed in manifesting my own gorgeous home via “acting as if”. (You hear that, Universe? I am ON THIS! A++++)

Yep. I live here now. (For two weeks, but whatever… Minor technicalities.) Is it bright and serene enough for YOU?

Rational Me has the unfortunate tendency to be rendered breathless/motionless by questions of affordability, practicality, and “trying to figure it all out”-ity when thinking about gorgeous and spacious waterfront homes. However, House-Sitting Me thinks nothing about pushing the “PH” (PENTHOUSE!!!) button in the elevator– after all, that’s where I live right now. It’s simply a matter of fact. (Delicious, marvelous FACT!)

And Seattle… hello!! Who doesn’t appreciate solar-powered singing flower statues and the Space Needle? (If you don’t, maybe we shouldn’t be friends anymore.)

Logical Me doesn’t dare to dream too big when it comes to serene homes with an expansive view of the Pacific Ocean, lest I crush my own heart with disappointment and unfulfilled expectations. However, House-Sitting Me has lots of fun pretending that this super awesome PENTHOUSE SUITE is mine for keeps! (We’ve already designated Marty an inspiring studio room here and I’ve even called dibs on my office space… not that either of us are working on holidays, mind you.) House-Sitting Me is really great at playing make believe and isn’t personally invested in things working out one way or another. Let’s enjoy this place to the max while we’re here!

Ahhhh… gorgeous and spacious!

Serious Me would never dare to “make a place my own” while looking after it for somebody else. (In fact, Serious Me’s head would barely graze the pillow each night while sleeping– we wouldn’t want to actually sleep in the bed that’s made for sleeping!! That would be preposterous!) However, House-Sitting Me– that savvy she-wizard!– made a joyful ritual out of banishing any “non-me” items to the unused bathroom on Day One. Out of sight, out of mind! Those items will sit in quarantine for two weeks, all by their lonesome, but will magically and perfectly appear in their exact right places on the evening that our house-sitting duties expire. (Until then, this house is 100% mine!)

Let’s be honest here: how many “air fresheners” does one house need? Well, if it’s *my* gorgeous, bright, serene and spacious waterfront home, the answer is NONE. Scented candles, detergents, soaps, lotions, Febreze bottles, and sticks and sticks of toxic “fresh scent”, I sentence you to two weeks behind a closed door in the farthest corner of this beautiful home. Good riddance!

Stodgy Me wouldn’t dream of “going overboard” with this penthouse suite experience. Sure, it’s nice and exciting and all, but mum’s always the word when it comes to Stodgy Me. No need to bring it up in random conversations, right? However, House-Sitting Me… well, how do I put this delicately? House-Sitting Me is SUPER HARDCORE about enjoying this penthouse suite. (“Guess what, strangers I’ve never met before? I LIVE IN A PENTHOUSE SUITE! Hell, yeah!!”) Moreover, House-Sitting Me gets the EFFIN’ GOLD STAR for savoring **Every. Single. Moment.** spent in this gorgeous, bright, serene, spacious waterfront home. House-Sitting Me doesn’t care if it seems ludicrous. Or outlandish. Or excessive. Or shallow and materialistic. House-Sitting Me loves everything about this penthouse suite and might just shout that from the top of this gigantic ferris wheel:

PENTHOUSE LOVIN’ FOR THE WIN!! I’m on it, Universe! A+++

And you, dear readers? How are you planning to spend the holidays?

Anybody want to swap Penthouse stories with me? (Not those kind of Penthouse stories– the G-rated ones, obviously!)

Tiramisu for the Dairy-Free Queen

Oh, dear readers– I love me some Universal Magic! Remember when I first came across Leanne Vogel and her killer website? (If you’re wracking your brain and searching for clues, you might also remember this first encounter as The Guilty Peanut Butter Incident, in which I felt intimidated by Leanne’s ninja-like wizardry in her allergy-friendly kitchen. Yes! I just called Leanne both a ninja and a wizard. No wonder I got suckered into the “I’m Not Worthy!” trap. Never fear, though. I’ve since recovered and reclaimed my cool factor. I’m OK, she’s OK, and it’s all good. Promise!)

Anyway…

It’s been an honor and an absolute thrill to work with Leanne this winter, helping her share The Most Amazing Christmas Cookbook Ever with as vast a swath of the internet as we can manage. (I feel like the Christopher Columbus of the Internet lately– exploring uncharted waters, but now with less scurvy!) Who knew an awkward first website visit would morph into a lasting friendship and an exciting business experience? I feel like I’m in my very own sitcom here, Full House style. Happy endings for all! Thanks, Universe!

Back to the amazing cookbook, though. The e-book is called Christmas Dessert Freedom and features ten holiday classics made tastier, prettier, and more ninja-like than ever before. What’s Leanne’s secret? She’s banished all the dairy, gluten, grains, refined sugars, peanuts, corn, soy, and eggs from the recipes we’ve felt guilty about eating since the Dawn of Time.

Peppermint bark? Check!

Rum balls? They’re in there!

Shortbread cookies? Uh-huh!

Pecan bars? She’s on it!

Leanne has even managed to create a dairy-free, gluten-free, sugar-free version of tiramisu. I kid you not! (That recipe alone is worth the 10 buck cookbook cost. Seriously.)

Since I love a good challenge even more than I love this cookbook, I decided to attempt the Queen Recipe (tiramisu, obviously) to prove a couple of things:

1. Even a disaster-prone chef (like yours truly, ahem- almond milk mayhem! Cough, cough– sauerkraut carnage!) can create these recipes and have them turn out just fine.

2. You don’t need a mile-long list of alien ingredients to make the recipes in this book– even something even as intimidating-sounding as tiramisu.

3. You don’t even need all of the recommended kitchen appliances to make these recipes turn out right. I, for example, don’t have a stand mixer OR electric beaters. So there!

4. The recipes aren’t some half-assed shadows of the original, guilt-laced confections. They will still impress even the most skeptical of tastebuds.

So! Adventures in Tiramisu Making!

The full list of ingredients for the tiramisu includes cashews (I used almonds instead), non-dairy milk, coconut oil, coconut nectar, vanilla extract, lemon juice, apple cider vinegar, coconut milk, coffee, rum (optional but hello! IT’S CHRISTMAS!), cocoa powder, dark chocolate, coconut flour, and maple syrup. (Obviously, if you have an aversion to coconut, this is not the recipe for you. Same goes for people with nut allergies, though the e-book does contain 6 nut-free recipes, FYI.)

The assembly line in action!

Anyway. I started off by making a batch of Leanne’s Maple Shortbread cookies (recipe included in the e-book), and then I chilled some ingredients and mentally prepared to slave away in the kitchen all day. Let down alert: No slaving was necessary. The prep work for the recipe was surprisingly easy (even for me, who has a hard time making ice). You blend some of the ingredients together to make a “cashew cream” layer (almond cream layer in my case– I’m wicked allergic to cashews). You mix some of the other ingredients together to make a sinful “coconut cream” layer, and then you stack everything together in a loaf pan with the shortbread cookies and let it chill overnight. Seriously way less work than I was expecting. And the rewards?

Sheer decadence. And deliciousness. And divinity… and other great words that start with ‘d’.

This is Leanne’s photo, not mine.

I was worried because my can of coconut milk rendered a runnier “cream” than you would expect from the word “cream”. Leanne even had to give me a pep talk while my tiramisu was setting in the fridge, which consisted of the ever-encouraging words, “I hate to say it: but it may not turn out” AND the always-rousing phrase, “it may be a lost cause.” Ha. AND EVEN STILL: my batch turned out just fine. Delicious! Guilt-free! Impressive to my neighbors! Sure, it might not win any presentation awards from the judges on the Food Network, but tummies can’t tell the difference if the recipe still tastes delicious, right? My point exactly.

My tiramisu, collapsed on its side. DON’T LAUGH! It’s no Miss America in the looks department, granted, but hot damn, it’s DELICIOUS!

This cookbook is Leanne’s labor of love and her holiday gift to the world. It’s great for people who have special diets or a mile-long list of food sensitivities, and it’s great for the people who love them, too. It truly feels like the “Get Out of Jail Free” card of Christmas– a way to actually partake in the holiday festivities without feeling gross or guilty afterward. Christmas Dessert Freedom for the win!

Cookbook Particulars

• $10 USD per copy
• 10 revamped recipes of holiday classics (vegan, paleo, gluten-free, all-around miraculous!)
• 35 pages, full color PDF
• Totally effin’ incredible!

As the helper elf to Leanne’s Santa (or something…), I get to share in some holiday abundance for everyone who makes a cookbook purchase through the links in this post. In other words, I’ll get a few bucks if you decide to buy the Christmas Dessert Freedom cookbook based on this review of it. Don’t be fooled by my pathetic-looking tiramisu, either: IT TASTES GREAT. You know I wouldn’t even be involved in this project if it wasn’t totally awesome, let alone pimp it out on this here blog. I promise the cookbook is amazing. I promise you can impress your friends and family by making any/all of the recipes in the book. I promise you can become a Christmas ninja, too.*

*Actual ninja-ness may vary. Also, if you have super grinches for friends, their level of being impressed by your kitchen wizardry might vary, too. Jerks!

Your turn, dear readers: Is guilt a regular part of your typical holiday experience?

What’s your favourite holiday treat?     

Crazy Sauerkraut Lady

(Recipe included at the bottom of the post.)

I’ve come a long way since my first foray into making raw sauerkraut at home. I started out with a great deal of trepidation, reluctance, and even a bit of nose-wrinkled condescension towards the lowly cabbage. Yes, I was making kraut, but it wasn’t because I enjoyed eating it or felt that I benefited from consuming it. Nope. I was just making it because Kimberly (nutritionist and overall goddess) said I should, and I am nothing if not obedient.

Well, dear readers, have I ever turned a page in that book! I now enjoy boatloads of raw kraut– every day!– and I even have a hard time jarring enough of it at home to keep up with my frenetic, kraut-consuming pace. Our cupboards and fridge are filled with jars of kraut, and I even bring smaller jars of it with me in my purse if I know that we will be eating out or visiting with friends. (Yes, you heard me correctly. I am your Nerdy Friend who will show up at your door with a small Mason jar of sauerkraut. To make matters worse, I rarely bring enough to share! I’ll just cover the bases for Marty and I and leave you– my host– scratching your head and wondering when the heck I became so possessive of my cabbage. <– To explain my sauerkraut stinginess: Experience has shown me that most people– shockingly– aren’t all that enthusiastic to partake in a raw sauerkraut munch-down, and there’s no way I’m wasting my homemade kraut on anybody who is less than on-their-knees grateful for it. So I generally only bring enough for Marty and I. Just so you know.)

1.5 *gallons* of kraut at the ready… but sorry, there’s not enough to share!

Anyway.

It nearly killed me to start this epic road trip of ours, because I knew that I wouldn’t be able to take a crate of raw sauerkraut with me across the border. You’re (usually) allowed to bring (certain) food items across “for personal consumption”, but I was pretty sure that a border guard wouldn’t greet gallons of sauerkraut jars with kindness or understanding. ‘What’s that glass clinking sound coming from the back of your van? Are you a bootlegger? Wait a second– what on earth is that smell?? Smells like… rotten cabbage!’ Awkward…

I pictured myself hollering “ALL THIS SAUERKRAUT IS FOR ME, OFFICER, I SWEAR IT!! THERE’S NO WAY I WOULD TRY TO SELL IT!” as I was being dragged off to Border Violations Prison, and then I had the horrific vision of being forced to throw away all of my raw sauerkraut in front of a guard’s watchful eyes before being permitted to dock in Port Angeles, WA. What a waste of good bacteria! It was too much to bear. Yes, I am a Crazy Sauerkraut Lady, but I’m not an International, Border-Regulations-Flouting Crazy Sauerkraut Lady. Hence, I packed a solitary, small-ish jar of kraut in our cooler and braced myself for around 2 weeks without the good stuff.

Almost all of our lunches and dinners now are topped with a generous portion of kraut. This wasn’t the case AT ALL on our road trip.

After painstakingly rationing out that one jar of kraut and making it last as looooong as possible, we were faced with the great, kraut-less unknown. I’m not going to lie: both Marty and I suffered without regular doses of raw kraut en route to Arizona. Our bodies had become accustomed to healthy portions of probiotics on a daily basis, and the combination of being on the road + camping + eating for convenience (oh, hello gluten!) + sauerkraut withdrawal proved to be pretty deadly. Let’s just say that I nearly wept at the altar of Whole Foods when we finally rolled into Tucson and purchased several “transition” jars of raw kraut to tie us over until I could make our own again.

I am now in the process of buying canning jars so that I can whip us up an apocalyptic amount of raw sauerkraut for our two month visit. Yes. I’m buying jars. That I will eventually leave in Tucson when we head back up to Canada. I am nuts for kraut! (And for some strange reason, every grocery store in Canada seems to sell canning jars and supplies, but none of the grocery stores in Tucson do. I had to google search “canning jars + Tucson” to discover that jars are mainly sold in hardware stores here. Insane? Yes! Now I just need to find me a hardware store. I already bought six organic cabbages at Whole Foods. They are waiting for the jars.)

And finally– the recipe part! I am no longer making kraut the way it is specified in Kimberly Snyder’s Beauty Detox Solution book. That recipe calls for miso paste and ginger, neither of which I am using anymore. Instead, I’m keeping it simple and kicking it old school. Read on if you’d like to try making what I call “Royal Kraut”… which is basically purple and red kraut instead of the usual green version. 🙂

Royal Kraut (Vegan, Gluten Free, Soy Free)

You Will Need

Sterilized mason jars with tight-fitting lids

Wooden spoon

Food preparation gloves (highly recommended)

Large purple cabbage

2-3 red beets

1-2 tsp high-quality sea salt or celtic salt

1 tsp caraway seeds (or to taste)

½ cup filtered water

Heh. Even though this receipe is for red cabbage/beet kraut, most of the photos in this post will be of green cabbage. Just use your imagination and pretend that everything is a healthy shade of purple.

How To Make It

1. Remove outside leaves of the cabbage (approx. 5-6 leaves) and set aside for later.
2. Chop rest of cabbage into thin ribbons and place into large mixing bowl.
3. Shred beets using the grating blade on a food processor (easiest) or using a cheese grater (good luck!). Add to cabbage in large mixing bowl.
4. Add sea salt and caraway seeds to mixing bowl, and use your (gloved) hands to coat kraut well. Dr. Obvious Warns: Beets will stain your hands, countertops, and anything else if given the chance. Use caution and try not to touch with your bare hands! (Also: do not wear a white shirt while making this recipe!)
5. Once kraut mixture has been well coated with salt and caraway, use your gloved hands to stuff it, bit by bit, into your mason jars. Add a small layer of kraut and then use the handle of the wooden spoon to pound the air out of the layer before adding more cabbage to the jar. You want to make the mixture as anaerobic (air-free) as possible to avoid mould and to allow the friendly bacteria to flourish.
6. Continue adding kraut mixture to the jar, layer by layer, pounding out excess air throughout, until there is between 1 and 2 inches of free space left near the mouth of your jar.
7. Roll outside leaves of the cabbage into tight, burrito-style rolls and stuff on top of the shredded kraut mixture. The aim is to pack the jar as tightly as possible, right up to the top with the rolled outer leaves.
8. Slowly add filtered water to the jar, until it levels with the shredded kraut mixture (not all the way up to the top of the jar). Unless your jar is very large (or you didn’t pack enough air out of the mixture), you will need very little water in your jar. A half a cup is a generous amount– I usually use more like 1/4 cup water or less.
9. Slide the lid onto your mason jar and close it to make an airtight seal.
10. Label your jar with the date, and leave it in a dark cupboard to ferment for between 4 days (warmer climates) and 4 weeks (cooler climates). Kraut does best in a room temperature environment, and cooler locales will take longer to ferment.
11. When kraut is ready to consume, break airtight seal on jar, discard outer cabbage leaves, and fork as much cabbage onto your plate as you desire. (I eat between ½ cup and 1 cup of kraut every single day, with any type of meal—except breakfast.)
12. Store opened jars of kraut in the fridge and consume within 2 months.

Chopping. Some like it thin, some like it coarse.

Kraut layer, pre-pounding.

Packed-in shredded cabbage leaves, waiting for burrito-style outer leaves to finish off the jar.

Special Notes:

If your kraut develops a black mould or film on the top of the jar while it is fermenting, believe it or not, the rest of the jar should be okay to eat. (The mould will develop where there are still air bubbles.) Simply pick off the mouldy bits and chow down on the kraut further down the jar… using your common sense, of course.

Kraut can sit in a cupboard fermenting for longer than 4 weeks, too. Longer sitting periods make for a tangier kraut in the end. Do not fear the healthy bacteria!

Fermented kraut will taste zesty, a bit salty, and almost like a pickle (i.e. vinegar-y). It is an acquired taste (at least it was for me), but once you get familiar with it, you may find yourself shoveling it back with no restraint whatsoever (at least I did/still do).

Use organic ingredients, the highest quality of sea salt you can afford (not iodized or table salt), and filtered/distilled water (not tap water). Table salt and/or tap water can disrupt the naturally occurring enzymes and living cultures inside the cabbage, making your kraut-making adventures a waste of time, ingredients, energy, and money.

Everything is ready to go!

Variations on the theme:

Make kraut with red or green cabbage (or both)

Use caraway seeds or not. Try adding dill, fennel seeds, dried sea weeds, shredded ginger root, etc. Make the kraut yours!

Sub shredded carrots or golden beets for the red beets, or just go with a simple cabbage mixture.

Some people use special sauerkraut crocks, but all you really need is a glass jar with a tight-fitting lid.

Questions? Holler at me! I’m determined to convert the whole of North America to raw kraut eating, so if anything needs to be clarified or elaborated upon, just let me know. Otherwise, enjoy your Royal Kraut! It’s so good… and good for you. xo

Sunday Signage: Hiking for Lazies

Picture the scene: Marty and I were out hiking this winter. It had been a while since we got out on any nature trail, so as we ascended a steep(ish) hill, our lack of fitness caught up to us quickly. Imagine our relief to discover this sign just before the final ascent to the summit:

Alas. We should have known it wasn’t a real escalator… it was just a 60 degree incline trek to the summit. False advertising, Cowichan Valley Regional District! FALSE ADVERTISING!